This town...
this town, you know,
all-- all I want to do...
is go some place where I can tell night from day,
where they've got clocks on the walls. I can't breathe here anymore.
Four days and I'm gone. I don't even know if I can hold out that long.
So where does that leave us, Bernie?
A week ago,
I couldn't even remember what it was like to have a woman's hands on me.
I still pinch myself. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up--
Come with me. Natalie, I want you to come with me.
- God, Bernie. - I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to spring it on you.
I-- I've been working on this compatibility chart, okay?
And it looks good, really it does.
- So, what's the problem? - The problem is it's only good here.
But that's just for now, for the immediate future.
You know, when the planets realign... maybe next year...
A year!? Natalie, I can't wait another year.
I can't--
I can't go, Bernie.
- Hi, Doris. - Hey.
Oh, shit. Just a second.
Hostess on P.A.: Chang, party of 15, your table is ready.
Chang, party of 1 5.
( group cheering )
- Woman: All right. - Man: Come on, papa-to-be!
Come on, y'all. I want to send my baby to college.
Six and a three, five and a four. Let's go.
( group cheers )
This is for our baby's future. Don't "blow " it.
- This is for you. - ( laughing )
This one's on the line for the guys with bowties,
- with shoes. - Charlene: Oh, yeah.
Dealer's got shoes. The point's nine.
Let's get that. A six and a three, a five and a four,
Let's do it. Can we get it? Can we get it? Come on.
- We got a shooter. - ( cheering )
Hi, Bernie.
Man: Fucking rock star!
( Mikey chuckles ) Give me them dice back.
Okay, pay me, moron, pay me. Come on!
- Mikey: $9,000, $9,000. - Give him $9,000.
Mikey: We're on a streak here. Move it, move it, move it.
Charlene: God bless you all.
Mikey: Point is nine. Point is nine.
Let me get all the hard ways for "Team Moron" here, okay? All right.
- Charlene: This is great! - Mikey: For you guys, all right?
- Here we go. - Charlene: Come on.
- Six and three. Five and four. - Charlene: This is for the baby.
Mikey: Come on.
( all cheering )
Charlene: Oh, oh, careful!
Come on, guys, with the cigarettes. We've got a pregnant woman here.
Put them out. I'm winning you guys money. Come on!
Come on. All right.
What gives?
He's up 18,000 since I stepped up to the table.
Sorry, Shelly. I'm kind of hit-or-miss these days.
- $9,000, $9,000. Oh, baby. - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I can feel a kick.
( Shelly thinking ) Fucking amateurs.
Charlene: Let's get it. Let's get it!
- ( group moans ) - Stickman: Nope. That's it. Line away.
Guys, I thank you. My pregnant wife thanks you.
My unborn child thanks you very much, okay?
Color me up, will you?
And keep one of these little blue ones for yourself.
Thank you very much.
That's quite a run you had there, champ.
( laughing ) Oh, yeah, lucky!
- Lucky night, I guess, huh? - It's so exciting to watch, too.
If you don't mind, I'd like to settle this in my office.
I don't like to lay out that kind of cash on the floor.
We'll go up there, relax a bit, have a drink, name your poison,
a little apple juice for the mother-to-be here.
- Seriously? - Yeah.
- Should I take this stuff with me? - No.
( softly ) Yeah...
Okay, that is not how I propose we handle this.
We turn this matter over to the authorities.
They'll be blacklisted, their credit ruined--
Then, I suppose I should stick a fucking lollipop in their mouths
for the ride home, huh?
Let me tell you something, "Harvard," come upstairs with me in my office,
watch and learn how to protect your investments the old-school way.
Fuck.
Mikey: Ow, ow, ow... ow!
Shelly: All right. Here we go everybody. Let's go.
Shelly? Shelly! Shelly, wait a second.
Charlene: Get off me! No!
Shelly, wait. Wait! Don't, don't. Don't do this.
Stay out of this, Bernie. It's got nothing to do with you.
It's got everything to do with me. He's my son.
Him? This little prick is your son?
- Pop, you've got to help me out here. - Shut up!
What are you talking about? Wait, wait. Are you in on this?
- Huh? - What!?
I asked you a fucking question. You come clean with me now.
No! For God's sake, what's the matter with you?
I didn't know nothing about this!
Shithead here is your son?
( Charlene moans )
Let me ask you a question.
How much you think their two lives are worth?
Myself, I don't think they're worth piss, but hey, he ain't my kid.
This shithead was up 150 G's down there.
That's 150 grand that somebody's got to account for.
What do you say you cover them both, 75 apiece, huh?
Come on, Shelly. They didn't get away with the money.
- You haven't lost nothing. - Go to work.
- Mikey: Pop! Pop! - No, wait! Come on!
- Jesus! - Wait.
Bernie: All right, all right. God damn it. All right.
All right, all right. I'm good for it. $150 G's.
- I'm good for it. - ( Charlene moaning )
- Natalie: It's all right, honey. - Oh, my God, the contractions.
- I need to go to the hospital. - Come on, Shelly.
Oh, for God's sake, Shelly. Will you help her out?
- That's my grandkid. - ( screams )
Oh, my God, that's right. That's Bernie's grandchild in there.
You all right, sweetheart? You need to go to the hospital, huh?
- Uh-huh. - I'll bet you do.
( screaming )
- Jesus! - Charlene!
( ripping, screams )
Hey, everybody look, It's a boy!
Oh, can you believe this? Bernie, you have a grandson!
( laughter )
Shelly: Bernie's got a little grandson!
Isn't he cute? Isn't he cute? I think he looks like you, Bernie.
- What do you think? - ( laughter continues )
A nice healthy grandson. Want to hold your grandson, Bernie? Huh?
Break out the champagne, everybody. Bernie's a grandfather.
You still want to make good on this?
If you want to change your mind, I don't blame you.
I'll make it up to you, Pop. I swear.
I'm good for it.
- All right, up on the table, right now! - Mikey: Whoa, whoa whoa--
Wait a second. Shelly, we had a deal!
$150 G's buys their lives.
This is a little slap on the wrist to remember me by.
- Mikey: Wait, wait. - Bernie: No, no!
- ( screams ) - Jesus, Shelly, no!
- Come on. - ( screaming )
( howls, cries )
Fuck! I brought this on myself.
I planted the seeds.
When Angela had run off with Mikey, I didn't--
I never made--
I never made an effort to get back in his life.
I figured...
the kid don't need a fucking loser for a father.
And now it's come full circle.
I give him the money, I open the door to all this.
This-- I got this coming to me. This is-- this is payback.
( slow piano jazz music plays )
Are you done beating yourself up, Bernie?
@ My funny Valentine @
@ Sweet comic Valentine @
@ You... @
@ Make me smile with my heart @
@ Your looks are laughable @
@ Unphotographable @
@ Yet... @
@ You're my favorite work of art... @
Bernie... are you awake?
( brief grunt )
I think that...
I love you.
No.
I don't think.
I'm pretty sure of it.
You blindsided me, Bernie Lootz.
I never saw it coming.
You shouldn't do that to a girl.
There's so many things you don't know,
that you should know.
Oh, fuck, I don't want to ruin this.
It-- it don't matter.
It don't matter what you come clean about,
it's not gonna change the way I feel about you.
It's not.
Natalie, l...
- I'd say it, but... - Say it, just say it.
No, with my rotten luck--
Don't-- fuck rotten luck, Bernie. That's over.
I love you, Natalie.
I really, really love you.
( meowing )
( meowing continues )
Trixie?
You came back?
( Trixie meows )
( uptempo music plays )
@ What a day this has been @
@ What a rare mood I'm in @
@ Why, it's almost like being in love @
( whistling )
@ There's a smile on my face @
@ For the whole human race @
@ I would swear I am falling in love... @
Tell Bernie to go to table six.
@ All the music of life seems to be @
@ Like a bell that is ringing for me @
@ And from the way that I feel @
@ When the bells start to peal @
@ I would swear I am falling @
@ I can swear that I'm falling @
@ Well, it's almost like being in love... @
( laughing )
Hostess on P.A.: Lovett, party of six, your table is ready.
Duty calls.
Bye.
Yes! ( laughing )
( people cheering, bells ringing )
( woman squeals )
@ All the music of life seems to be @
@ Like a bell that is ringing for me @
@ And from the way that I feel @
@ When the bells start to peal @
@ I would swear I am falling @
@ I can swear that I'm falling @
@ Well, it's almost like being... @
@ Well, it's almost like being in love. @
Hey, Shelly, check it out. The new "Mega Million."
I call her "Marnie."
You know, 'cause she's one frigid broad.
You want to tell me what's going on out there?
- I don't know. - What do you mean you don't know?
We're down almost a mil out there. Doesn't that seem strange to you?
I guess I'm having an off day.
No, no, no. You don't have off days, Lootz.
You're shitty luck incarnate. What's wrong?
You coming down with something? You have this look about you.
No, no, I'm fine. As a matter of fact, I've never been better.
- Give it a shot. - What's that supposed to mean?
She loves me, Shelly. She told me last night. Natalie.
( siren wails, bell rings )
Should I get her flowers or candy?
What is happening to you?
I think flowers.
Sweet Jesus! You popped her cherries!
Shut the fuck up!
- Man: I'll stay. - Natalie: Scotch on the rocks.
- Here you go, babe. - Thanks.
Hi, Tone.
( knocking )
Hi, Shell.
Do you believe those fucking kids yesterday?
Don't worry about them, because you and I have other problems now.
You have really fucked things up big time, let me tell you.
I hired you to be his "cooze" companion,
not the true love of his fucking life.
But no,
you have to go and get all profound on the poor schmuck.
"l love you, Bernie."
What the hell were you thinking? Those four words of endearment
have cost this casino one million and counting today.
I don't understand what that means.
Lady Luck.
You've heard of "Lady Luck," haven't you?
- Yeah. - That's what's going on out there.
Lootz is Kryptonite on a stick.
He should have them throwing ice cubes right now,
but instead I've got a meltdown on my hands.
So here's the situation: you are out of his life, before he even gets home.
Don't even tell him to his face. Leave him a note.
I'm gonna make some calls and you're gonna be situated at another joint.
I don't think I can do that, Shell.
Excuse me?
( louder ) I said...
I don't think I can do that, Shell.
It wasn't an act.
I meant it.
- You love him? - Yeah.
I love the schmuck.
What the fuck is there to love?
He's a loser. Always has been, always will be.
I thought you were a smart cookie when I picked you out.
You do not want to fuck with me.
Because if you do, your next john
is going to be a fucking rattlesnake in the fucking desert.
- Do you understand me? - Yeah.
Get out of here.
( sobbing softly )
Hey, Natalie.
It doesn't matter.
Man: Look. A six-card 21?
- ( players moan ) - Man: Please!
( players moan )
@ Can I steal a little love? @
@ Yeah, let me raid a little love. @
( applause, screams )
Thank you, thank you. You guys are too kind.
This next song I'd like to do for you is dedicated to a friend over there.
Brianna, this one's for you.
I want you to tell me the truth, Shelly.
Did you say something to Natalie? Did you muscle her?
Jesus, Bernie. Is that what you think? That I would fuck with your happiness?
That hurts me.
( mutters ) I don't know.
( Capella singing ballad )
This guy is all flash. No soul.
I miss Buddy. It's just not the same around here.
Buddy was tired.
I gave him the easy way out. Things could have been so much worse.
"Gave him the easy way out"? What are you talking about? He--
Buddy never would have taken the buyout.
He would have stuck to his guns right to the end.
They would have ended up hurting him. I could not allow that to happen.
Jesus. You--
you sit here and you justify it like you're Dr. Kevorkian or something?
Hey, listen to me.
I loved that son of a bitch, but his time was up.
What was I supposed to do, leave him to those corporate fucking scumbags?
What I did was a humanitarian thing, that I have no doubt about.
And afterwards I held him in my arms and I cried like a fucking baby.
What?
What is this fucking look you're giving me now? What is that, huh?
Televangelist: There are the sins of the flesh.
There are the sins of the gambling halls...
- be it dice or in some cases, - ( knocking on door )
"the devil's thumbpapers. "
Let's take off tonight.
I can't do that. I have an obligation to Shelly. He--
Fuck Shelly.
He doesn't give a shit about you, Bernie.
Let's just climb in your car
and drive the hell out of here tonight.
I can't do that, Natalie.
He'd come after me,
because you're with me.
I can't have that on me.
( softly ) Okay.
- Stickman: Winner! - ( cheering )
( cheering )
( screaming )
Shelly! Shelly!
You have no fucking right!
Shelly, you got no fucking right!
Shelly, I tried. I couldn't do it.
Shelly-- Shelly--
I can't leave, Shell.
Shell, I love him. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
You heartless fuck.
I thought--
Bastard! I thought he was your friend.
Who do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are?
( screaming ) You're nobody!
I could make you disappear like that
and not one fucking person would miss you.
- Not one fucking person! - Bernie would!
He loves me.
He loves me...
and that kills you, doesn't it, Shell?
That kills you! That kills you, doesn't it?
He was your only friend
and you crippled him.
You crippled him
and he still stood by you, but no more, Shell.
The only friends you've got now are the fucking guys on your payroll.
You don't own me anymore, Shelly, and you don't own Bernie.
We're leaving here tonight. I am taking him
and there is not a fucking thing that you can do about it!
- And you will be all alone! - Is that right?
( screaming )
( sobbing )
I love him.
Natalie?
Don't turn the light on. I got a headache.
Did you take something? I've got aspirin, I've got--
Yeah, I already took something.
What--?
Oh, shit.
Natalie, what-- what happened to the mirror?
- Natalie? - ( Natalie moans )
No, Bernie, don't. Oh, shit-- Bernie!
Jesus Christ.
Natalie, who did this to you? We've got to call the police.
- I thought, "Easy money." - What are you talking about?
Shelly.
He paid me to get close to you,
to keep you around.
Shelly...?
Yeah. Shelly.
You were right that first night.
I was for sale.
Bought and paid for.
You were the "easy mark," Bernie.
At first I thought that you were
just another way to make a quick buck, you know?
And then I started to take a closer look.
Andforthefirsttime,
you were somebody who wasn't trying to hustle me,
somebody who wasn't trying to pretend he was someone he wasn't.
Just a decent guy, trying to get back on track.
And it didn't hurt any that you put me up on a pedestal.
It sure puts the gutter in perspective.
Shelly paid you?
Shelly wants me gone.
He says I bring you luck.
"Lady Luck. "
I stayed to tell you to your face...
and I knew you wouldn't want me no more and I could just go.
We've got to get you to the hospital. We'll talk about this later.
Tell me again, Bernie. Tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
This is our time. This is you and me and we're going for it.
Oh, my God.
Hey.
You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
Look in my eyes.
I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.
You look into my eyes, Natalie.
Bernie, Bernie, wait, wait.
Your chart that first night--
I wasn't being straight with you. It is the worst chart I've ever seen.
There's nothing in the cards for you, I'm telling you.
No, don't you see? That was before.
That was before you opened up your heart to me.
Everything's different now. I got Lady Luck on my side.
Nothing's gonna happen to me.
Wait.
Here. Look, I got $3,000 he paid me.
Maybe Shelly will take it as a down payment,
and we can pay in installments, when we get settled, okay?
- I don't think $3,000-- - Come on, take it, Bernie!
( Shelly talking )
...street vendors in your face. I walk up there, I'd want to shoot myself.
I suppose you'd like that freak show, huh, Harvard?
Marty: Yeah, I do.
It brings people downtown into the casino. That is good for business.
- Oof! - Hey!
You lay another finger on her, I swear to God, I'll kill you.
Are you listening to me? I will fucking kill you.
Why, Shelly?
How could you do that to her?
Because I never let go of a good thing, Bernie,
and you are a very, very good thing.
The best cooler there ever was and I need him back.
He ain't never coming back.
That is a dead man talking.
Shelly...
I'm done with this joint, Natalie and me.
We are out of here. I'll get a job out in the world.
I'll send you half my paycheck every month.
- I'll make good on my commitment. - Bernie, if you bail on me,
they're gonna throw your fucking ass off the roof of this building
snatch the broad, and throw her right the fuck on top of you.
I don't think so, 'cause if you whack me,
then Bernie Lootz ain't the biggest loser in the world no more.
That honor is gonna rest upon you, Shelly.
- And maybe you had it all along. - I'm the loser?
What do you got, other than this joint?
- What more do I need? - You got nothing.
This place-- your legacy, it's a mirage.
You turn your back, it don't even exist.
There's no night, there's no day,
it's just one big fucking blur and it don't count for nothing.
- You believe this fucking guy? - ( thugs laughing )
I feel sorry for you, Shelly.
You're the worst kind of gambler there is,
too scared to throw his chips on the table.
Too scared to extend any real kind of friendship.
Always scared he's gonna end up out in the desert.
Well, sweet fucking dreams, pal. I'm out.
If that's where it ends,
that's where it ends.
Jesus Christ, that's such a fucking touching speech, Bernie.
All that Jimmy Stewart bullshit,
I got such a lump in my throat, I can't tell you.
But it doesn't change a thing.
If you don't make good on my 150 G's, I'm gonna close the books on you.
You and the broad.
You leave me no choice.
Change only.
Dealer: Change.
$3,000.
Yo, 11, pay the line.
Winner, seven.
Stickman: Six easy. Easy way six.
( crowd murmuring )
- Stickman: Winner. Front line. - ( applause )
Hey, Shelly, take a look at number four.
- ( applause ) - Winner.
Stickman: Okay, folks, we're coming out now.
Hold bets, curb checks, C&E is 1 1.
Man: Come on, man, make me some money.
Winner, seven.
What the fuck is going on here? Where have you been?
- Not now. - Bullshit. Shut him down right now.
- Shut him down or I will. - Not here.
Come take a walk with me.
What is your interest in this, Shelly? Because you know what I see?
I see your guy taking us to the fucking cleaners, and I'll tell you one thing.
He's not leaving here with a fucking dime.
( screaming )
Now listen to me, you little Harvard turd.
Lootz is all right,
so he's walking out of here with everything he's got coming to him.
If you so much as touch one fucking hair on his fucking head,
I'm gonna fucking wallpaper this fucking bathroom with your fucking ass,
do you understand me? Muted tones, isn't that what you said?
Huh? I can't hear you.
Wait, wait a minute. There it is.
- ( gags ) - Blended in, at a subsonic level,
Iike some kind of mantra,
"Pain, pain, pain."
- ( bone snaps ) - ( screaming )
Please...
( applause )
Man #1 : Come on, come on.
Man #2: Big roll. Big roll, buddy.
Man: Here we go, here we go.
Man: He must be up over 100 grand!
- Gray craps, line away. - ( crowd gasps )
Stickman: Here we go.
Stickman: Okay.
Man: Hit it again. Come on.
( crowd clapping )
Man: Come on now. Come on.
- 12 craps. Line away. 12 craps. - ( crowd gasps )
- ( crowd murmuring ) - Man: What the fuck? Not all of it!
Bernie: $80,000.
On the field? Is he fucking crazy?
- Woman: Don't do it. - ( crowd clapping )
Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.
It's all right, right?
You guys worked it out and he took the money? It's okay, right?
( ringing )
( ringing continues )
( ringing continues, knocking )
You want me to get that, Shelly?
( ringing continues )
Bernie? Can you tell me what happened?
( deep sigh )
Yeah. Yeah.
( panting )
Why-- why are we stopping, Bernie?
I think-- I think-- Oh, God damn.
What the fuck happened in there?
What? What?
- What! - Look. Look.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Natalie, I won. I won. - Oh, my God!
- How much!? How much!? - A lot.
Bahamas, here we come.
( laughing, siren blurts )
( tapping ) Step out of the car, please.
- What's the problem, Officer? - Step out of the car, both of you.
Officer, my driving, it--
I'm sorry if we were driving a little fast, we're a bit excited.
We won a shitload of money at the Shangri-La.
You didn't win nothing.
Now both of you, turn around. Get down on your knees.
Now.
Jesus Christ, Bern, Jesus Christ.
The kid just wants you should know, Shelly,
he's just protecting our investment...
...the old-school way.
I'll see you around, my friend.
I knew it was too good to be true.
Who were we kidding?
( gun hammer clicks )
( loud crash, dull thump )
It's a drunk driver.
This is just-- this is just freaky luck.
It was freaky accident.
Gentlemen, I want to thank you for your vote of confidence.
As the new director of casino operations,
I want to make a personal guarantee to each and every one of you
that your investment in the Golden Shangri-La will be well looked after.
The future looks very bright, gentlemen.
Very, very bright.